november 30th, 2010 - present

so i know that it's been a while, but i haven't got the opportunity to type here.
okay.

happy 1st anniversary, mister. bear. sharkie. polar bear. hot delivery. bregas. kidiw. brad pitt. jerm. okay, i can't remember another names i've given to you anymore.
thank you. thank you. thank you. that's all i can say. well actually, i've said almost everything i want to say in the letter i wrote you, so....yeah.

happy 1st anniversary. 12 months, huh? it's been a roller-coaster ride, if you ask me.
but just like a roller-coaster ride,
though sometimes you're scared, you scream your lungs out, you pray for help, and you think you're going to die
in the end, it was your choice to go on the ride, and the euphoria can sure make you laugh.

so who cares if sometimes, i hate you to the moon and back? who cares if i've cursed your name a thousand times? who cares about how many moments that made me swore to God that i'm gonna make you cry?
you do? well, don't.
because i love you far beyond all those things.

and i know that i can be such an annoying bitch sometimes. well maybe most of the time. and sorry for being so insensitive. and selfish. and everything. sorry.


i'm not asking you to be a perfect classy gentleman, who takes me to a candle light dinner or something. i'm not asking you to sing me a song through the phone every night till i'm asleep. i'm not asking you to be anything.
what i'm asking is
please, don't get tired of me. ever.
and please don't wake up the next morning and thinking that you've had enough of me.
at least, not anytime soon.

so
i can't see what the future brings
but right now,

this is us, standing on the top of the world.
let's make it last forever.

xxx.

wondering which version of you i might get tonight.

so this is really getting on my nerves. like, seriously.
you want a game? i can do games.
but when you lose, accept it like a gentleman and come back to me.

panic attack.

is it me, or is the world just deaf?

i've been wondering lately.
why can't people hear me cry?

entah apa yang salah sama kita.

tapi,
mau benar atau salah

"kita" tetap "kita".

Bukan sekarang

Ada banyak yang bisa lewat antara kita dan selamanya.
Jarak, misalnya.
Dengan pohon-pohon, rumput, dan bermacam-macam orang yang ada di antaranya.

Atau sifat
Waktu
Teknologi
Banyak.

Tapi
Aku tidak mau mereka lewat sekarang

Ini bukan surat cinta.

Malam, kamu. Maaf, aku jahat ya?
Tapi, kalau
Aku bilang aku sayang kamu
Kamu percaya kan?

so this is how the story goes

once upon a time, there was a boy
who made me think
"be the player, not the game"

sounds awful, i know :\


and now, there's this boy who got me thinking
"fuck playing, i'm all yours"

it's almost been 9 months, chica

can't you be happy for me? i thought you said you love me.
for the sake of my terrible ego, this is what makes me happy.
really?
like, do i really have to feel uncomfortable whenever i'm with you, whenever i wanna share something about him, but i ended up talking about another thing, because i'm scared of what you think of him?

unfinished posts!

I was just at my Manage Post page when I realized that I actually have some drafts that I honestly have forgotten why I even wrote that. It's not some long post; actually they're really short. But I think it meant something for me back then, so I'm gonna put it up here.

3/11/11
in my point of view

what's above my name,
is your name


3/11/11
VIVA LA DARREN CRISS!

behold, Darren Everett Criss
new love <3


4/23/11
sigh.

I've been sighing a lot lately.


And............that's it. And then we got the 15th birthday post, which I probably will never finish and post. Oh, well. Let the drafts be drafts.

you got me.

you're stuck on me in my laughing eyes. i'm standing here and i can hardly breathe.
you got me.

the way you take my hand is just so sweet. and that crooked smile of yours? it knocks me off my feet.
i just can't get enough; how much do i need to fill me up?
it's everything that i've been dreaming of.

no matter what i do, my heart is filled with you--i can't imagine what it'd be like: living each day in this life without you.

you're stuck on me in my laughing eyes.
you got me.

if you don't put up the effort,

then why should i?

Soooo

Had a good convo last night. Neither one of us was the bitch. It's pretty funny (if not scary) how similar we are, don't you think? I still feel bad about.....it, but I know you'll make up your mind soon. At least I'm glad to know that I'm still considered your "good one"

DUDE!

NICK'S IN INDONESIA! OH GAWWWWD HE'S IN BALI WITH JOE AND THE OTHERS. IM GONNA GO PLAN A SURPRISE VISIT TO MY UNCLE IN BALI.

But does he really bring that Delta Goodrem girl? She's 26, baby. You're 18 -__________- find someone younger. 3 years younger would do ;p









Ok I sound like some craze lovesick crackhead, don't I?

you realize that we won't be waiting on that Potter kid and his friends to be on the cinema again, don't you?

Panic. Panic. Panic. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2 is gonna be out soon, and I'm kinda in a dilemma right now. I really, really wanna see the big end. I've been imagining the movie since I finished reading it. On the other side..................................IT'S THE LAST FREAKIN MOVIE OF THE WHOLE FREAKIN HARRY POTTER SERIES, PEOPLE!
There's no more books or movies we can look forward to. After 10 years, it's gonna be over soon. Harry Potter is one of a few things that me and my Mom can talk about, down to the details. It's the only series we both read and love.

Empire Magazine's got its own Harry Potter Celebration issue, and I love it!

 

 Dan looks gorgeoooouuuus<3<3<3

This boy, is even better. Buffyyyyy

Remember that lion-haired girl back in Sorcerer's Stone? Well, she's not here anymore (:

His nose is surprisingly there

Hagrid! Without the beard!

That is not the boy who played Nevile Longbottom! He can't be!

Tom Felton is............................................................ God, I'm speechless

well this is kinda awkward...............

Helloooooo gorgeous

And last but not least, my favorite

The cover. They all look.......................stunning!

Soooo Harry's gonna be over soon. Let's just sit back and wait for the last movie, okay? And after that, maybe we'll be able to find out what to do with our lives ;p

I've been with Harry since the beginning, and I've stuck with Harry until the very end.

I'm gonna go sigh and say "I love you"

Sooooooo
Asdfghjkl!
Screw the excuses
Yes, I'm afraid. But let's live for the moment, ok? And at this moment,

i.
am.
freakinglyinlovewithyou.

I just never knew that I could feel this much, but here I am
So what I wanna say is:
Thank you, for being mine.

"they might be bigger, but we're faster and never scared"

it's been a hell of a week, isn't it, baby?
so they win this first round, it's okay
we just have to win the next 99 rounds.

it's as simple as that<3

how to make me cry.

I just realized that the fastest way to make me cry is, besides be my Dad then get pissed because of me, is:
Be my boyfriend, make me miss you so bad, make me almost THIS close to seeing you, then make it failed.
I know it sounds lame, but i don't care. i get really moody and emotional when i'm sick.

HERE'S THE THING.

if it's okay for you to be a bitch, then it's okay for me to be a bitch.
so don't act like i'm the one who's fooling around, playing with being a player and breaking your heart.

that's rule number one
get it?

please, don't ever leave. just, please




xxx
ooo A

it's not what i didn't feel, it's what i didn't show.

I don't give a damn what people say
I don't give a damn what they think of us
Or what they think of me
Or what they think of you

I don't know what makes me typing this right now, but I'm really feeling like I should be

So
I know it's not gonna be easy
And even if you're so sure that we're gonna last forever,
baby, forever is a really long time.
I know I don't go with "forever and always" thingy, and
I can't promise you anything
but


right here, right now
From the bottom of my heart, to the edge of the world:

I love you

singapore!

Almost forgot! I didn't post anything on February, did I? I was really busy with Chingay Parade preparation ;) long story short, we stayed in Spore for a week. Take a look ;;)

day 1, dateng langsung ke F1 circuit buat latihan

Chingay Parade Day 1, Friday Feb 11th 2011

That's just how we roll B)

Chingay Parade Day 2, Saturday Feb 12th, the big finale

day off, Somerset and Orchard from morning til dawn

day: table manner lessons. night: dinner at Intercontinental Singapore

last day: Universal Studios. I got sick, so Dendy & Bebek took me back to the hotel earlier :\

last day: night. I got really healthy again, and felt sooo not sleepy. Went to Orchard until around 2 am

Alas, a week felt so fast. We enjoyed everything there. It still felt like our dorm, except we got much more freedom! It was good. I wish they would turn our dorm the way they rolled at Spore.

Buuuuut Widhi wasn't there, so....... I had a hard time keeping contact with him -_-

Oh, well.

xoxoxxx, A

holy-days; "holy shit, homeworks!"

Soooooo it's been 6 days off for me. The 12th graders are doing final exams, so we get to go home and rest our butts for a while. But guess what? Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Bitches decided to throw some homeworks for us -_-
My resource (Widhi) said we've got math, physic, IT, PE, biology, and economy to do. So far...........one down (economy) oh yeah I just sent the assignment to my teacher B)
And now I have to make Widhi do the assignment since he got pissed because his computer went crazy or something. *ngulet* think think think think think.

Ok so I went to Hanamasa earlier for my cousin's birthday party with his friends and stuffs.

And we ate a lot and by a lot I mean a lot
I've got the picture of the plates and the bowls and all that BUT it's in my iPhone and sadly, my iPhone's being a total bxtch right now, like, seriously. The computer can't read any photos out of that thing you called an iPhone. Oh, well. So, we ate a lot. And my (cousin) sister painted my left nails green, and I got new silly bandz: Monas, Komodo, and Garuda. #likeitevenmatters.


Check out Willow Smith's new music video "21st Century Girl"!


Oh! Last week was EXHAUSTING! Like, seriously. On Tuesday night, MPK gathered for a meeting. But THEN they got us into JM (jurit malam) TT_TT. It was meant to take our MPK pins. I was scared like crazy, and Tika was scared too, so they let us go together. If I think about it again now, it wasn't that scary. I mean, since the ghosts are the staffs, they pitied us so we weren't too scared. We finished at 12 midnight. The next day, I came into class after lunch. That night, MPK gathered again. We had to plan OSIS' JM for Thursday night. We talked about it until around 11 pm.
Thursday, busiest day of the week. The lessons, brain-melting -_- after school finished at 4:15, I had to be ready for Paskib at 4:30 :\
Paskib finished at 5:30 (usually 6:00 but JM changed the schedules) and then at 6:00 we started night prayers (Yasinan, usually held at around 8:00 until 9:00), finished at around 6:30. When everyone gathered at dining room for dinner, MPK went straight to the school. We ate there, and then started prepairing everything for OSIS' JM. I was............................kuntilanak B) I sat inside a dark bus for about 3-4 hours, along with Kak Felan and Kak Hindy. The point is: JM started at 10:00 pm and ended at 2:00 am. We gathered things, etc etc etc, I went to bed at 3:00 am. I didn't get into class at all the next day. I slept all day, and I still felt sleepy when night came.

And this Saturday, Global Prestasi's very first pensi will be held! FORTALS; definitely will be there :) goodluck guys! I miss my RVS :\

I........................think that's it for now. Byebye babies.
xoxoxxx! A

i. need.

a webcam for this computer
a better computer. with sound and internet connection altogether.
a wide lens
a not-broken-blackberry, or
an iPhone with bbm, or
any chance to get me reach Kak Satria, he's my French assignment, oh God......

i am a waste of time

I waste time too much. Seriously.
But
"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted"
right?
Oh, well :p

Quick news, I got a 100 for my Biology test! Eeeeep!!! Oxford's Marine Science, baby.
And I've worked really hard for the past 2 days. I'm one of the MPK, and we held the OSIS leader election yesterday. GOD, seriously. People screwed up really big time!! But finally, everything went well and now President Senior High has a new OSIS leader: Kak Kevin Adrian! Congratulation!

Uuuuum I promised Widhi I will go to sleep right after I finish a chapter. Ok one more thing.

Turns out, you can't upload a picture from iPhone -_- I'll tell you later?
Kissesandbighugs!
A

brother.

will you take a moment?
promise me this:

that you'll stand by me forever
but if God forbid, fate should step in
and force us into a goodbye
if you have children someday
when they point to the pictures
please tell them my name










tell them how the crowds went wild
tell them how i hope they shine

quick news

I found my cables! My SLR cables! Woohoooo God is good!
It's good to have some good quality pictures ;;)

Aaaand I got a new t-shirt. It has John Lennon AND Paul McCartney on it! I literally dropped my jaw when I saw it <3<3

I look so............................fat. Don't you think?

And I bought this glasses! <3

Mommy says my taste in clothes is getting weirder and worse. Oh, well :)

I just remember! I had a quote, aaaah too late, I'm 16 already -__- It goes like:

When Taylor Swift said "In your life, you'll do things greater than dating a boy from the football team. But I didn't know it at fifteen"

I said "In your life, you'll do things greater than dating a boy from the football team. But I don't know it, I'm fifteen" <3 And I still can't see what's beyond dating my "boy from the football team"

Ooooh we went to the zoo again! A few weeks ago, and I got this girraffe baby

OK it's 2:30 am already. I'm getting hyped about all this photo thing. Sorry.

Last! Don't know why, but I kinda like this one

Ok. I'm done here.

want to know a secret? you're the first to say happy birthday to me. ironic, huh?

I'm drowning............................

......in "happy birthday" texts, bbms, and mentions!

Oh, like it or not, I'm surely gonna rock 16!!

when you're fifteen

It's about.......................20 or 30 minutes to my 16th birthday. To be honest, I really don't want it to come. I've been wanting to stop growing up since I left 14. I really really terribly desperately don't want to grow up. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I don't know what I'm going to do when I grow up. I want a time machine so very badly.

I had a really good time being fifteen. I prefer to write it "fifteen" instead of "15", I don't know why.

As a 15 year old, I was damn happy. I enjoyed life, every single second of it.
I had my RVS, I did fine with my (previous) boyfriend, I enjoyed being a senior.

But we can't have everything we want in this life, right?

Time passed by and here I am, with the ticking clock.
And a new boyfriend.
And new friends.

I didn't want to leave Junior High, but I did
I didn't want to start Senior High, but I did
I didn't want to leave Recoureveuns, but I did

I don't want to grow up, but unfortunately, I am.

Just like Taylor Swift's "Fifteen"

"Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss makes your head spin around"

byebye fifteen. hello sixteen.